New DE Signing Carl Lawson!
 

So with Key and apparently Clemmons both on the shelf we had a need. What better way to fill it, than with yet another of Lou's former guys!

You can't help but wonder but does our player personnel process basically look like this:

Lou- "We're down 2 DE's, gonna need to hit the PS and FA market"

Ballard- "Hey Lou, hold on, let me call you back in a couple hours, I am at an Adult Small shirt fitting session right now and when I leave here I have a an appt with my smarmy smirk trainer, I will call you after that"

Lou- "Cool, I got a guy in mind, I think you are gonna love him"

10 hours later... Ballard calls Lou back

Ballard- "Sorry Lou, I meant to call you back but I got sidetracked practicing my haughty laugh and shrug in the mirror and lost track of time. I hope we didn't lose this guy because I was out of pocket, so tell me about him, 2-3 past pro bowls, 20+ career sacks, 5 year starter type guy now logging high production rotation minutes"?

Lou- "No problem Chris, he is still around, which is great. He used to play for me, he is one of MY guys Chris and as you know, MY guys are all bad asses that just got raw deals in the NFL, all of them have been really good, just needed the right situation to excel. He is one of those guys Chris, here, for me, with Sauce just locking these WR's down and with CJ Allen guarding the sideline super well, this guy is gonna shine Chris, gonna shine".

Ballard- "So who is he playing for right now"?

Lou- "He isn't, he's out of the league right now. The 9ers, Rams, and Vikes all wanted him as a starter this year but he just didn't want to play unless it was for me, so he's just been waiting on the phone to ring. I already told him to get an Uber to the airport and we'll have the jet pick him up. I am super geeked Chris, just give me the thumbs up".

Ballard- "So this is ANOTHER one of YOUR guys right, one of these guys that was with you when your D was considered atrocious, but he was one of the guys that wasn't atrocious, cool, that tracks with your history so far with us. What are you thinking, we go the same route as some of these other guys we have been signing, ya know, like Slay, sign him, and then stash him for about a month then bring him onto the field? Yeah yeah, grab him. We can get him on the field like week 9 or so. That will give him like 8 total weeks. Just make sure we are clear with him- 8 weeks with us, we expect serious results. Set the bar high with him Lou, 8 weeks, we need at least 1 sack, 3 pressures, and 5 tackles yet this season! Let him know that we expect almost the identical production from him that we have as the expectations for Latu. So he needs to know, sense of urgency and shit is high!

Oh and Lou, as soon as we hang up, I am jumping on a plane to The Sechyles for a 60 day lay low since I've been busting ass so much lately. The checkbook is in the upper right drawer in my office, if any shit like this happens while I am out, man you just keep tapping YOUR guys and pay them whatever it takes to get them signed, and then not play for a few weeks so they feel good about where to go out and night and that type of shit. Ease them in just make sure they are aware we have a high sense of urgency and shit. Thanks Lou, tell him I will watch what he looks like on the sidelines when I get back in town in late December".

Did you really type that all out and think it sounded edgy?

o


Perhaps the moderators can arrange to have each and every one of Chopped Wood's posts auto-corrected ???


Let him type whatever he wants to type on his computer ...... but when he presses the "Submit Reply" button, it will read l "Fuck Ballard !!! Fuck Steichen !!! The Colts suck !!!" I'd rather be a Jets fan or a Browns fan, because both of those organizations are run better than the Colts' organization is.

o

Ah come on, let the ChoppedWood bitch. There is plenty to complain and vent about and if you cannot do it here where can you? Plenty of people just left, he didn't, that counts to me. I do think he has a point, although he didn't make it that clear (something I do all the time when I am pissed). There appears to be no communication between what Ballard wants and what the coaching staff wants (i'm talking defense here). Our last two second round picks have had a hell of a time finding the field. Steichen today insinuated Allen isn't on the field because he isn't mentally up to it quite yet. Ballard thought he was the most NFL ready LB available and everyone seemed to think he would be calling our defensive plays, everybody except the guy that runs our defense. No way you can build anything if you keep missing this big on high defensive choices. Zack Hicks pointed out out that Ballard seems to think Latu is or can be a super star edge rusher but Lou doesn't seem to play him like that, using him more of a strong side contain rusher (which he is pretty good at). There appears to be a disconnect going on and it is frustrating to see. Winning organizations are all on the same page.

o


I have no problem with people bitching occasionally, or even bitching frequently when the team is playing horribly.

ChoppedWood bitches in just about each and every post that he makes.

ChoppedWood has every right to bitch about whatever he wants to bitch about, whenever he wants to, and as often as he wants to ...... and I have every right to point out that by doing so he sounds a 2 year-old child that isn't getting his way about anything and everything.

o

Edgy? Nope, sardonic, yes absolutely. What is far worse however, is this is my rooted perception of just how fucking incapable this entire organization is at this moment in Colts history. We have become a dysfunctional laughingstock in the last several years- we are a damn disgrace as an org.

We have this alleged "urgency is at an all time high" mantra and our urgency at its all time high is to just continue to fish for Lou Anarumo retreads over and over and somehow expect them to be BETTER than they were with him previously. What the fuck is that about? Who the fuck thinks that's a can't miss strategy? Whoever it is, they need to be banned from ever having any influence in any decisions, including the amount of minutes to keep the fries in the fryer because that person is fucking stupid!

As for the difference in perception and reality vs Latu- that is a terrific microcosm of the entire fucking thing and just how trash we have become. This stooge of a con man scam snake oil shitbag- that turn toward the camera and his smug "We just got the best pass rusher in the draft"- man that personifies this whole era. Is the issue that Latu isn't any good, or is the issue that Lou can't unleash him? One of the biggest problems is - because both of these fucking dudes appear to SUCK monumentally at what they do- we have no idea what to believe.

I will continue to post my disdain for this bullshit until 1 of 2 things happen- we actually advance into and through a couple layers of the playoffs, or, all of these asshats that have soiled this once proud organization are standing in the unemployment line!

I think there have been a bunch of bad decisions made by this management group, but I'm not sure signing Lawson is on the list. First of all, there are not very many available DEs that can be plugged in. I think most teams would rely on their DC to weigh in on this, and most DCs would prefer a player they've worked with so they can plug them in more quickly.

It's not easy being a Colts fan, over the past 50 years, they've been shitty more than they've been good, but whaddaya gonna do? Bitch? Of course we are.

I dunno. It made me laugh. Of course I’m an asshole so it would.

I just heard we have the worst TO differential in the NFL. Come on man, enough with the Lou rehash experiment, it doesn't work.

That TO issue is almost totally on Daniel Jones. We have 8 turnovers and 7 are by DJ. JT has lost one fumble.